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Tuesday, January 15, 2013

Adventure in Spanx

Yes, I know I am not suppose to tell everyone about the Spanx situation but did you know there are Spanx for men? Yes, Men can wear Spanx too and trust me its not just the discovery that I made but the literal translation that I had to do.

You see, I have been trying to get back to rehabbing my knee before I get the scar tissue removed ( trust me this isn't a fun thing ) So I had to go to the medical equipment supply store to grab some CPM's ( continual passive movement machine ) and while I was there trying to decide if I wanted the one that would add weight or just the free moving one I met a very nice man. ( Editors Note: The dating scene has been changed to where the prosthetic aisle is ) He explained to me about his knee replacement that he had done because he used to run marathons until a bad accident shattered his knee cap. While we talked I looked him over like a honey baked ham in the oven cooking complete with the misguided "mmmm" and licking my lips.

He was very informative and told me about the knee brace that slips on and adjusts as you walk. I couldn't let this fine gentlemen get away so I kept asking questions I already knew the answer to ( how long is your rehab ? -6 to 12 weeks How long was your surgery? 30 minutes to 1 hour Inpatient or outpatient-unless its your whole leg its always outpatient now ) and he was clueless to my extending the conversation as I tried to figure out a way we could go have "coffee".

I was beginning to wonder if he was a therapist himself as he was very detailed but as we returned to the CPM machines did I learn about Man Spanx apparently this is a very big thing for men whom have been stuck with the old fashion girdle variety as in the 1950's Herringbone Girdles with buckles. Now Spanx has been around for women for a little over 8 years or so but Men are just learning of the new amazing stretch rubberized underwear. It was when he took me over to the "support hosiery" section that I learned something amazing about men and their fashion sense.

White is the only color worth wearing unless you are wearing a sheer dress for a stage performance.
Yes, my new girdle friend was performer in a local all men's cabaret.
While my hopes for romance were tossed aside for the more camaraderie of wearing undergarments that make you rethink how to breath from your diaphragm I learned that some of the men sizes work for women but the women sizes don't work for men apparently there is more pinch then pull so to speak but just take my (his) word for it. Oh and the Man Spanx is about $5 cheaper so you know I now know where to go when I need Spanx.

Of course it was as we departed he invited me to try Karaoke at Tinker's Damn ...let's just say I will definitely wear my own spanx should I venture out.


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