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Friday, April 5, 2013

I should receive a Prize for not having that guy's baby...

As I find myself in the throes of a babyarmageddon because EVERYONE I KNOW IS HAVING ONE. I have more baby showers that I accidentally took an umbrella to one thinking I wouldn't get wet.

I have stopped drinking water out of fountains because I am afraid the water might just have the juju to get me knocked up.

While I ADORE my friends for being with child I get asked the invariably horrible question every woman without a child is asked
.
"So, where are your kids?"

I am tempted to answer with

"the recycle bin" or

 "invisible" or

"OMG WHERE ARE THEY? THEY WERE JUST HERE!" complete with loud voice

Alas I don't and give a very good reason

...you see I use to date a guy that couldn't hold down a job more or less have an attention span for a commercial break and well hair growing out of his ears really was the reason I wouldn't procreate with him at all. Aside from the fact that I refuse to procreate stupidity including my own is usually my answer that works the best.

But after this upcoming weekend I think I should get an award for not having t kids because you know I could of had kids and I would probably be in Section 8 housing and I would still be taking the bus but really how many goats do I need ? (sic)

Maybe I should apply for the Nobel Prize Humanitarian award....I did stop overpopulation in one way.

And Im not even Catholic!


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