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Wednesday, May 18, 2016

What they don't tell you about the All Protein Diet

So, I have invested in working out more and watching what I eat.

Pay no mind to the orange stained fingers tips as I write this post after noshing on Cheetos.

I have been doing the Protein Diet and well even at my now advanced age it still isn't a good choice.


I remember when the Protein Diet became a great tool in the early aughts (pre 2010 ) and I even then thought it was a bit silly to eat a block of cheese and a 16oz steak but who was I to argue with hundreds of men who took to the diet  and lost weight. Yes, me female should have similar results or even better results even at my advance age and knowledge the diet is a short term fix.

Well, something no one has mentioned on high protein diet is the need for laxatives or the fact over a certain period of time (or age) you will need to add a stool softener or laxative to your regimen as well because 64 ounces of water is not going to move the 16 oz steak thru your colon by itself.

Oh, and get your colon checked BEFORE going on said diet because while you make think you know your body best when you do head over to the colonoscopy you need to know that there is a thing called a Lazy Colon  and it doesn't care if you are a female or male.

Trust me, aside from the grocery bill of purchasing a block of cheese, 5 cans of kidney beans and two 16 oz steaks you should really purchase a new toilet, a comfortable seat, and two tractor trailers of toilet paper.

And take a week off from work because you will be either running from or to the bathroom for days 3 to 7.

I know someone somewhere typed this up but the reality is the Protein Diet is only a quickie ( pun intended ) diet and not a long term solution. In fact most people would only be on the diet for 6 weeks others make it two to four weeks ( brave souls ).

Equally, when you go to purchase your mineral and / or aloe vera liquids I totally recommend going to Whole Foods and picking up their brand of either.
I was shocked to read / taste the CVS/Walgreens/Rite Aid Varieties even the cherry flavored ones were over $8 a bottle and some tasted worse than castor oil.

At Whole Foods the Aloe Vera comes in Mixed Berry and the Mineral ( flaxseed ) Oil didn't smell like fish or hit my tongue with a flavor of what I can only describe as paint thinner. Both brands came from Whole Foods and I think I paid a total of $12 for both.

But that is not the worst part...you see if you watch the FX show Archer like I do, you would be familiar with Pam Poovey and her obsession with the bathroom. You might want to check your local labor laws...and local plumbing union because you will be their hero.
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